So In Love With Two
by yuriama sohma
Summary: S.J. decides that her feelings are best expressed in song.


So in Love with Two

A Digimon Songfic

By: Yuriama Sohma

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon or the song 'So In Love With Two'. They belong to their respective owners.

I could hear Taichi and Yamato fighting again. They weren't being loud, they never were, they only ever fought when they thought I was asleep. But I never was asleep. I was always, always awake to hear them argue. And it was always over me.

"She likes me you idiot, why would she ever REALLY want someone who's been hit in the head with a soccer ball so many times it's effected his brain function to the point he thought someone like her was even close to being in his league?" I heard Yama growl through the wall.

"Hey! my brain funtion is perfectly fine! It's you who needs to get your head checked cause it's obviously ME she likes. After all why would she want some pretty boy who spends more time in the bathroom doing his hair than she does?" Tai shot back.

I sighed and pulled my laptop off the nightstand and put in my headphones before opening the document I'd been working on for weeks and tuning out the world.

I stood in the recording booth clutching the crumpled, worn, slightly dingy printout I'd made at the library a week ago that I didn't actually need to read from anymore. I had the lyrics memorized, as I well should having spent Angewomon only knew how many sleepless nights working the entire song out.

"Anytime you're ready is fine Hokato-san" my manager Himewari-san said over the intercom.

"If you're ready out there go ahead and start" I replied and the beginning instrumental, something I'd whipped up on my laptop, began to play. 'Oh, guys! If only you knew the grief you put me through!' I thought before I started to sing:

"_Ooooh oh ooooh_

_My number one: There could never be no one like you  
>How come I feel this way about<br>My number two: Never tried to tell me what to say or do  
>I'm so in love with two<br>I don't want to push it  
>I don't want to fight<br>But this feeling keeps me up all night_

_If I only could decide  
>But I can't make up my mind<br>I'm breakin' all my rules because of you  
>You can tell me it's not right<br>And it tears me up inside  
>But the problem is I'm so in love with two<br>_

I was clutching the earpieces of my recording headphones singing to the heavens, pouring my entire being into this song. I could clearly see my boys behind my closed lids._  
><em>

_Hey, hey, hey  
>I don't know what to do<br>Hey, hey, hey  
>I choose the both of you<em>

_My number one: You give me everything I need  
>But some things still are better with<br>My number two: He's the one that really makes me feel so good  
>I'm so in love with two<br>I don't want to push it  
>I don't want to fight<br>But this feeling keeps me up all night_

_If I only could decide  
>But I can't make up my mind<br>I'm breakin' all my rules because of you  
>You can tell me it's not right<br>And it tears me up inside  
>But the problem is I'm so in love with two<br>_

All of my frustrations were bursting out into the music. I knew then and there that I couldn't choose._  
><em>

_But the problem is I'm so in love with two_

_Hey, hey, hey  
>I don't know what to do<br>Hey, hey, hey  
>I choose the both of you<em>

_Don't want to fight another night  
>Just want to make it right<br>C'mon  
>Ooh, my number one, oh, my number two<br>Somebody tell me what I'm supposed to do  
>My number one, my number two<br>Somebody tell me  
>I'm so in love with two<br>_

'Yama-chan! Tai-Kun!' I thought tears threatening to spill from behind my closed lids as I once again pictured all the reasons I loved each of them. It just wasn't fair that I was expected to choose between them! _  
><em>

_If I only could decide  
>But I can't make up my mind<br>I'm breakin' all my rules because of you  
>You can tell me it's not right<br>And it tears me up inside  
>But the problem is I'm so in love with two<em>

_If I only could decide  
>But I can't make up my mind<br>I'm breakin' all my rules because of you  
>You can tell me it's not right<br>And it tears me up inside  
>But the problem is I'm so in love with two<em>

_Hey, hey, hey  
>I choose the both of you"<br>_

The song ended and I stood in the booth panting for breathe, a few stray tears finally escaping. 'I've chosen I guess' I thought bitterly 'I've chosen not to choose and hope that they don't both leave me' It was silent for a moment then an uproar broke out on the other side of the glass wall. Himewari-san burst very unprofessionally through the door of the booth, (after making sure the recording equipment was off so she wouldn't ruin the recording of course) and swept me into a hug.

"S.J.-chan! I didn't know you had that kind of sound in you! I've never seen you put so much into a recording before! The closest I've ever come to hearing that kind of sound from you was your live performances and this blew those out of the water! We're going to get to work producing this right away! It's good enough to be a single!" She exclaimed and I could practically see the dollar signs in her eyes. Don't get me wrong, Himewari-san isn't greedy but she does have a healthy appetite for the finer things in life.

"Himewari-san, I was wondering if I could get a copy of that recording before it goes out to the public. See, I had a special reason for writing that song..." I said quietly.

She looked down at me and got a knowing look in her eyes. "Of course S.J.-chan. I'll have Hidekazu-san burn you off a copy before you leave today" She nodded before releasing me and walking out to calm down the techies who were still freaking out and to set Hidekazu to work on my copy. He looked at me through the glass smiled and nodded before sitting down at the computer and popping a disk into the drive. I nodded back then began to pack up my stuff.

A few minutes later Hidekazu walked into the booth where I'd decided to stay for a little while after poking my head out and finding that several of the newbie techies were still in a tizzy having never heard a perfect cut on the first try before. Honestly, I'd never had one before but I'd spent enough time on this song there was noway I could have ever screwed it up in a million years without doing it purposely.

"I take it this has something to do with the famous Ishida Yamato and Kamiya Taichi, am I correct?" He asked sitting next to me and handing me the hand labeled disk in a jewel case. I looked at him wearily, it was scary how well he knew me sometimes. Hidekazu had been with me since my first recording and could tell the songs with meaning from the songs on a whim just by how I said the title. He'd known me since I was a fourteen-year-old nobody in this business and he'd know me 'til I was an Angewomon knows how old has been.

"Yeah, I just don't know what to do! I don't want to hurt either of them or let either go. Hidekazu-kun, I'm helpless. So I'm going to play them my song and see what happens." I admitted. Hidekazu was only a few years older than me and had quickly dismissed my calling him 'Hidekazu-san' when we first met. It also helped that he'd been dating my sister Watashi, aka 'Tash', for the past two years.

"Well whatever happens Tash-chan and I will always be there for you." He reassured me giving me a quick squeeze around the shoulders before heading back to work. After all music stops for no man.

Two hours later I was standing on the front steps of my apartment building telling myself that freezing myself to death by standing out there all day and night wasn't going to help my situation any. I took a deep breath and walked inside heading straight for the elevator. Once inside I punched the button that would take me to the floor the apartment I shared with Yama and Tai was on, nervously ringing my gloved hands the entire ride. Outside our door I took a deep steadying breathe and walked in calling "Tadaima!" in a surprisingly steady voice. Yamato stuck his head out of the kitchen and grinned at me.

"How'd your recording go? Mine took three takes." He said by way of greeting. He happened to also be in music, with a band called 'The Teenage Wolves'.

"It went...well, I sent newbie techies into a frenzy with a one-shot recording. Actually, is Taichi here? I want both of you to hear it" I replied nervously pulling the C.D. out of my bag.

Yamato looked surprised at the news of a one try recording, if he knew how much I'd worked on the song he'd understand because he too did the writing and arranging for his music and knew that when you'd worked long and hard on a song it was damn near impossible to screw it up, but he didn't know how little sleep I'd been getting lately and didn't need to know. Never the less though he nodded in reply to my question.

"Yeah, he's vegged out on the couch trying to find something decent to watch. I'm sure he won't mind if we take a couple minute of his time to play your song." I smiled weakly. It was nice to know they wanted to hear my song but it was far from relieving.

We walked into the living room and saw Tai trying not to look completely revolted by something going on on the television screen.

"Tai, S.J. Brought her new recording home, says she wants us to listen to it. You don't mind if we pop it in now before I start dinner do you?" Yamato asked with a chuckle at the look on Tai's face. The T.V. was off faster than I'd ever seen it go off before.

"Anything so that I don't have to watch that shit anymore" he told us in a disgusted tone that I normally would have laughed at.

"Thanks Taichi, this is important" I managed to choke out as I scurried over to the C.D. Player. After loading for a couple seconds my song filled the apartment. Yamato and Tai listened seemingly spellbound as my twisted around us more powerful than on any previous recording. At the end of the song they both looked at me looks of awe and confusion on their faces.

"Seijiro, that was..." Yamato began but trailed off, the use of my full first name catching me off guard. "Do you really feel...?" Taichi attempted but fairing no better at finishing than Yama.

"That song is everything I've been feeling the past couple months guys, please, please don't make me choose...I've already lost so much sleep trying to decide..." I told them a lone tear tracing down my face. They exchanged a look before coming up to me and embracing me.

"Seijiro, I'm so sorry! I never realized how much this was bothering you. I guess we royally screwed up by fighting over you all the time..."Yamato whispered in my ear as Tai nodded in agreement. "Yeah, we're such airheads! We were so busy worrying about ourselves we never thought how it'd effect you. We never asked you how you felt..."

I swallowed and pressed my face against their shoulders. "It's my fault too, for not making it clear from the beginning that I loved you BOTH..."

Both boys sighed and rubbed my back. "Well don't worry about it anymore" Yamato told me tenderly. "Yeah, cause we'll both always be here for you no matter what S.J." Tai added eagerly. "You'll never have to chose."

I looked up with a watery smile "But didn't you listen there at the end? I did choose, I chose you both"


End file.
